garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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