I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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