I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
