Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
