Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
