So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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