ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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