I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
