Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
