i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
