She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
