Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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