I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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