I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
