Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
