Pants 0. Shit 1.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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