My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
