You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize