I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
