I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
