going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think I just sharted jello shots
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
