omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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