Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
