Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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