So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
