just come out here and I will go home with you...
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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