hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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