My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
