i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
