Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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