doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
