I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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