i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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