I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
