I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My life is pants optional.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
