I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I need moral support for this bender
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
