i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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