I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
