And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
