the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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