i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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