All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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