If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
