He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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