i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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