I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
