I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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