He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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