smell my finger.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
