I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
