Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
